Kingdom Hearts: New Arrivals
by Yunagirlamy
Summary: Mickey gets what's coming to him, Xemnas won't shut up about Kingdom Hearts, and Sora calls nearly everyone a retard! Click here to read more!
1. Chapter 1

**This is just for fun; don't take it seriously! Though, it's what me and my best friend, Halina, wish what would happen! Written by me, Amy, and my best friend, Halina.**

**Disclaimer: Halina and I don't own anything! Though I think we own ourselves!**

**Enjoy!**

**Chapter One: Halina and Amy**

Sora threw his Keyblade down on the floor, panting hard. Defeating Ansem was NOT easy as he found out.

He then looked up, and saw a big massive door in front of him.

"Hey, guys!", he said to Donald and Goofy. "Let's close this door for no apparent reason!"

With Donald, and Goofy, Sora ran to the door, and tried to close it. As they struggled to close it, Riku appeared on the other side.

"Oh hey, Sora.", he said, waving to Sora.

Sora stopped trying to close the door, and said, "Hi Riku!"

The two boys then started chatting, as Donald and Goofy still struggled to close the door. "Little help guys?", Donald asked.

Sora stopped talking, and said, "Shut the hell up you retarded duck!"

Donald didn't hesitate to shut up as Sora pulled out his Keyblade. Then, they all heard an annoying squeaky voice.

"Sora! Let's close this door for good!"

Sora grumbled madly, and stormed into the Realm of Darkness, and dragged Mickey, or the "King" out.

Sora then pushed the "King" down on the floor, drew out his Keyblade, pressed it against Mickey's throat, and said, "Got any last words?"

The "King" stammered, looking for some wise words to say. But, as he went to say something, Sora wiped his head off clean.

Donald and Goofy looked at Sora, and said, "Sora, that was our King!"

Sora went to shrug, but he fell over for no reason.

Tidus came in, laughing. "He fell over! He fell over!"

Two girls, called Amy and Halina then appeared out of nowhere. Halina said, "What the hell?"

Tidus cried, "All hail me!"

Halina and Amy got down on the floor, and said, "I obey!"

Yuna then came in, again for no reason. "Tidus, what are you doing with the visitors?"

Tidus looked towards Yuna and said, "Err… Nothing."

Donald said, "He has a sword behind his back! He was gonna kill them!"

Halina and Amy cried, "We're only 11 and 14 years old!"

Yuna, ignoring the girls, cried, "WTF?! A talking duck?!"

Halina said, "My name is Halina. And the talking duck is called Donald. Also, Tidus killed Mickey. Well, actually, Sora did."

Sora cried, "Shut it, Halina!"

Halina responded, "I don't know you, and you don't know me, yet you're talking to me. I've heard all about you though."

Amy said, "He's so fit though!", and then she squealed.

Yuna, once again ignoring the girls, said, "How will the queen find out?"

Sora said, "We'll kill her as well!", and then he laughed like a maniac. Halina said, "I won't let you!"

Amy said, "No wait! If she is a gay retard like Mickey, then she should be killed as well!"

Halina and Donald cried, "But all the Disney characters are dying!"

Amy rubbed her hands together evilly, and said, "That means that Donald and Goofy will die! YES!!!"

Yuna, the woman who is oblivious to everything, started running a hand through her short brown hair.

Halina noticed and said, "Yuna, you are beautiful."

Yuna looked towards her, and said, "Well… Thank you?". Then she started slowly backing away.

Halina then said, "Guys, I have something to tell you all!"

Everyone else asked, "What?"

Halina took a deep breath, and started talking. "Amy and I have only just got here, and we love it here, but as soon as we arrived, a war broke out. Please, stop it. I'm begging you."

Then, as she started to cry, Tidus walked over to her, and said, "Blame it on Sora. He's the one who killed Mickey."

Everyone, except for Sora and Yuna said, "Yeah!"

Yuna asked, "Is that true Sora?"

Sora started scratching the back of his head, and said, "Err… Well… Maybe."

Tidus shouted, "Just admit it, Sora!"

Sora shouted, "Alright! I did it! I killed that gay little retarded mouse!"

Everyone else, except for Yuna, shouted, "BOOOO!!! Down with Sora!"

Amy went in front of Sora, held her arms out, and cried, "No!! Don't touch Sora!"

Halina started crying, and then she got angry. "It ends now!"

Then, Xemnas (mansex) appeared out of a dark portal, and said, "………………..Kingdom Hearts."

Everyone shouted, "Shut up, Mansex!"

Halina took it the wrong way, and said, "Ewwww, he has mansex!"

Xemnas pulled an evil face at Halina, and said, "Kingdom Hearts."

"You asked for it!", screeched Halina. Tidus whispered, "Go on, Halina. You can do it. I believe in you."

Halina turned to Tidus, tears forming in her eyes, and said, "I can't, Tidus. I can't kill him. I'm not a killer."

Everybody started watching what was happening. Tidus picked Halina up, and started rocking her gently.

Xemnas pulled an evil face at everybody, and created a dark portal because he realized he's not supposed be in the first game.

He backed into the portal while saying, "Kingdom Hearts."

Goofy said, once he was gone, "Garwsh, he's annoying. I'm glad he's gone. HYUCK!"

Sora said, "He's probably gay as well."

Tidus then turned to the others, Halina asleep in his arms. "I'm starting to like Halina.", he said. Donald whispered to Goofy, "I'm starting to think that Tidus is in love!"

Goofy whispered back, "But, Tidus is seventeen, and Halina is eleven. HYUCK!"

Amy moaned, "What about me?"

Then she asked hopefully, "Can I have Sora? We're the same age!"

Sora turned to Amy, and said, "I love you." (Yeah, I wish! BTW, in case you didn't know, _I'm _Amy.)

Yuna started freaking out. "Oh my god!"

Amy… Well… she fainted with happiness.

Goofy said, "Is it me, or can I hear wedding bells already? HYUCK!"

Yuna fell down laughing as Donald hit Goofy with his staff. "Garwsh that hurt! HYUCK!", said Goofy.

Tidus warned, "Goofy, you'd better run, because Donald is gonna give you a wedgie!"

Yuna stopped laughing, and asked, "Tidus are you alright?"

"Yep!", Tidus answered.

"Holy crap!", Donald shouted. "What's wrong?", Tidus asked.

Donald said, "Look at Halina!"

Amy then chose that moment to wake up. "What'd I miss?", she asked.

"That. HYUCK!", said Goofy, pointing a finger at Halina.

Amy looked at Halina, and gasped. "Halina… She's changing."

Amy then said, "OMG, Halina is Rose Tyler!"

Halina then woke up. "I am not! It's just that I'm wearing a red dress with red shoes, and anyway, what has this got to do with Doctor Who?"

Sora asked out of curiosity, "What's Doctor Who?"

He didn't get an answer though, seeing as the Tardis appeared. Halina and Tidus said, "I feel sick.", and then they both dropped to the floor.

Halina said, "OWW!! You son of a-! Don't ever drop me again!"

CHAPTER ONE COMPLETE

What do you think so far? Please review!

**BTW, Halina has never played Kingdom Hearts, BUT she does know the characters, etc. I helped her. **

**And I just say thanks to her for helping me write this, and come up with up the plotline!**

**THANK YOU!!!!!!**


	2. Chapter 2

**Disclaimer: Halina and I don't own anything! Though I think we own ourselves!**

**Chapter Two: Doctor Who**

The Doctor poked his head out the Tardis doors. "What the hell?", he asked no-one in particular.

Rose also poked her head out. "This is Kingdom Hearts!", she screamed.

"Who the hell are you?", Sora asked. He then got out his Keyblade.

Halina got up. "Hello Doctor! Hello Rose!"

Then she cried, "Sora, don't!"

"And why not?", asked Sora. "They look like complete idiots."

Halina said, "You do have to admit that they are nutters but they are good guys, unlike you, you little git, Sora."

The Doctor said, "Thanks."

"Hey!", Sora cried. "I _am _a good guy!". Tidus got up. "You don't deserve to be a good guy, after killing the King!", he snapped.

"I thought that _was _a good thing.", Sora admitted. "You deserve to be burned in the pit of hell!", Tidus carried on.

"Just stop it!", cried Halina. "Can't you just act like best friends?"

"Yeah!", Amy agreed. "It pains me to see two really fit guys fighting!"

Halina then ran off into the woods (Didn't know there was woods in The End of The World!), and Tidus called her name. But, Halina didn't look back. "Now look what you've done!", said the Doctor and Rose.

"Me?!", cried Tidus. "It's Sora who started it!"

"Shut it!", snapped the Doctor and Rose, and came out the Tardis.

**WITH HALINA**

Halina was sitting on a rock, looking into a stream. She saw that her face was dirty.

"Why does everyone have to fight?", she sighed, resting her head in her hands.

Then, the Doctor appeared, and sat next to her. "I've seen the fighting type, Halina. It never stops unless you do something about it."

"Yeah, but I bet Sora isn't one to give up fighting.", Halina said, looking up at the Doctor.

"If you come back with me to see Sora, will you promise me you'll sort it out?", the Doctor said.

Halina didn't say anything, she only nodded her head.

The Doctor then held Halina's left hand as they both walked back to where the others were.

They saw that Sora was on the floor, unconscious.

Halina said, "Tidus, if you did this, I seriously give you a wedgie!"

Goofy said, "Nope! We had to knock him out with the Keyblade! HYUCK!"

The Doctor and Halina said in unison, "What exactly happened?"

"Well….", Amy said, drawing in a deep breath. Just as she went to talk, Ariel walked past them, not noticing Sora.

"What the hell?!", Halina cried. "Ariel's here too?"

"How can she walk, _when she's a flipping mermaid?!_", Amy cried.

Rose sighed, and said, "You haven't watched the whole film of 'The Little Mermaid', have you?"

Amy said, "What's 'The Little Mermaid?'"

The others groaned. "Garwsh, are you dumb, Amy? HYUCK! ". (I don't think I need to tell you who said that!)

Amy asked, "What does dumb mean?"

Sora, having now woke up, heard this, and screamed, "You dumb little-!"

Amy cut him off by asking, "What does little mean?"

Everyone looked at Amy strangely. "My god!", cried Tidus.

The Doctor said, "There is seriously something wrong with you, Amy!"

Amy started to cry, and said, "That's not very nice!"

Suddenly, there was a loud rumble, followed by a roar of thunder. The Doctor asked for no reason, "Everyone okay?"

Then, Donald noticed that Halina wasn't there. But then, they heard Halina screaming, "Tidus!!!"

CHAPTER TWO COMPLETE

Please review!

**BTW, I have watched all of 'The Little Mermaid', and I'm not that thick in real life. **

**In case you hadn't of guessed, this is a Kingdom Hearts/Final Fantasy X/ Doctor Who crossover!**

**Thanks to DoctorwhoFanForever10 for helping me write this!**


	3. Chapter 3

**Disclaimer: Halina and I don't own anything! Though I think we own ourselves!**

**Chapter Three: MANSEX!!!!!**

"Where's Halina?", asked the Doctor, seeing Tidus going into a fit, and running around in a circle, pulling out clumps of his hair.

Yuna said, "I don't think we'll get much out him."

Amy asked, "Has Tidus ever gone into a fit before?"

Yuna tapped her cheek, thoughtfully. "Let me think… Yep!"

Goofy said, "I so wanna hear the story of his first fit! HYUCK!". The Doctor said, nearly angry, "Never mind that! We have to find Halina!"

Tidus continued to have a fit.

The Doctor groaned, and said, "Can any_one_ shut him up?"

"I can!", said Yuna, getting her guns out, and pointing them directly at Tidus.

Amy immediately said, "But, Yuna! Tidus is supposed to be your boyfriend!"

"I don't bloody care!", Yuna shouted, swearing mildly. Then she added innocently, "Besides, I was going to miss him. I _am_ a good gunner y'know."

Halina (WTF?! Where did she come from?!) for some unknown reason became angry. "That's _it!_", she screamed, storming back off to the forest.

She then started singing to herself! Yay…

"I wanna go home! I wanna g-"

She was cut off by Sora grabbing her from behind, and holding the Keyblade up against her throat.

Halina pleaded, "Turn me into a Heartless, but just don't kill me!"

Sora said, his voice full of cockiness, "You should see my master, Mansex."

Halina thought for a moment. 'Oh, Xemnas!', she finally figured out.

Then, without warning, Mickey, or the "King" suddenly appeared. Sora let go of Halina, and menacingly pointed the Keyblade towards Mickey. "I thought I killed you!", Sora said, his tone dark. (No, he hasn't turned to the darkness by the way!)

The "King" then held his left hand up, showing a emerald ring. Sora gasped.

"The ring of immortality!"

Sora then became puzzled. "So… Your head grew back?". (I can imagine 14-year-old Sora saying something like that!)

"Pretty much, yeah!", the "King" said.

Then… Mansex appeared! DUN DUN DUN!!!

He screamed, "Get the mouse!"

Halina stood, hands behind her back, oblivious to everything that was happening. "... I like cake.", she said for no reason.

"Little help here?", Sora cried. "I thought you were working for Mansex-"

"Hey! Stop calling me that!", Man-

"You too Yunagirlamy!"

(But, it's funny!)

"But my name is _Xemnas!_"

(But-)

"No buts! It's Xemnas!"

(-sigh- Fine, Xemnas!)

"Thank you!"

(Anyway, where were we, before we were so _rudely interrupted?! _Ahh, yes that's right!)

"Little help here?", Sora cried. "I thought you were working for Man-"

"Grrr."

"Eep! Err… Xemnas.", Halina said.

"No, I mean getting the damn mouse!", Sora said.

"I just wanna go home!", Halina whinged.

"Well, go away then!", Sora shouted.

Meanwhile, a portal was created behind Xemnas, and a blue haired man dressed in a black cloak stepped out of it.

He said, "Xemnas, we're not supposed to be in this one. We're supposed to be in KH2!"

Xemnas looked at his surroundings, and said, "Kingdom Hearts."

Saïx put a comforting arm around Xemnas, and lead him through the portal.

"Look out!", Halina shouted. Sora looked up, and saw a sword (_What?! _Where did _that_ come from?) flying down towards him, but luckily for him, Halina jumped on him, pushing him and her away from the spot on which the sword had landed.

"You… Saved my life.", Sora said, full of shock. "Even after I had threatened yours with the Keyblade."

Halina shrugged, and said, "Eh, it's not much of a big deal."

Then she said, "C'mon, let's go tell the others that _Xemnas_ is here."

Sora nodded his head, and ran with her.

They got back, finding everyone to be in utter silence. Amy, however, broke the silence. "I need the loo."

Tidus raised his eyebrow, and asked, "Really?". Amy answered, a blank stare on her face, "… Yeah."

Halina, for _unknown _reason, started shaking. "What's happening to _her_?", Rose asked, her voice sounding all bitchy like. (Maybe because she is one! Hehe!)

"No, I think the question is, _why_ is it happening to her? It's like she's the god damn main character of this story!", Amy said.

Just then, what sounded like a motorbike was heard. Unfortunately, it wasn't a motorcycle. "Who the bloody hell just farted?", the Doctor blurted out.

"It was Goofy, and he's from the planet Raxacoricofallapatorius!", Rose screamed. (No, I didn't make that planet up!)

"HYUCK!"

Yuna then farted as well. "ARRGGGHHHH!!!", screamed Rose. "She's from the planet Raxacoricofallapatorius too!"

"No, sorry! I had a big lunch!", said Yuna, defending herself. 'How does she pronounce that planet's name anyway?', she thought.

"Man it stinks…", Sora thought aloud. "Shut up!", screamed Amy. "You're supposed to be evil in this story!"

Sora then started running around, and singing. "Everybody's gay!"

"I ain't gay!", Halina screamed. "Neither am I!", said Amy.

"Err… What does gay mean?", she added.

Everyone groaned, and the Doctor said, "I'm leaving…"

Rose nearly blew a fuse. (Err…. _What?_)

"Don't you _dare_ leave me here!", she screamed. Sora then tried to destroy the Tardis with his Keyblade…

… But failed miserably.

"Force field!", Rose screamed. "Beep you!", Sora shouted. Everyone gasped.

"What?", Sora questioned.

"This is a seven plus game! You're not even allowed to beep in it!", Amy cried.

The Metropolitan Police then arrived. "Sora, you're under arrest.", they informed Sora.

"_What?!_", Sora screamed.

CHAPTER THREE COMPLETE

I hope you enjoyed my little argument with Xemnas. I might put Axel in the next chapter… I've yet to decide.

Until, next time, "So long, fare thee well. Pip! Pip! Cheerio! We'll be back soon!"

Hehe, that's from 'Oliver!'. Man, I love that film!

**Thanks to DoctorwhoFanForeverTen for helping me write this! You're the best friend anyone could ever ask for, Halina!**


	4. Chapter 4

**Disclaimer: Halina and I don't own anything! Though I think we own ourselves!**

**Chapter Four – Yuna is… Pregnant?!**

Yuna rested her left hand on Tidus's shoulder, and whispered in his ear, "Tidus, I'm pregnant."

"_What the hell?!_" Halina screeched, hearing this. (Bloody hell, the girl's got supersonic hearing!). "Mind you, I'm glad I'm not in love with Tidus, because it would so _disgusting _if he got me preggie," said Halina to Amy. Nobody noticed Sora struggling against the police.

"_Do you mind?!"_ he screamed. "I'm the Keyblade _Master! _If you arrest me, who's going to defeat Organization XIII?!"

"I am," said Halina, drawing out a sword (Where she'd get that?!) with her name engraved on it. With the first glance, you'd be fooled into thinking it was an ordinary sword, but you'd be surprised. It had all four elements; Fire, Water, Ice, and Thunder.

"Bet you don't even know their names," remarked Sora snidely. Halina crossed her arms, and glared at Sora. "_Really? _Well, here goes nothing," and then she started naming the members.

"Xemnas, Xigbar, Xaldin, Vexen, Lexaeus, Zexion, Saïx, Axel, Demyx, Luxord, Marluxia, Larxene, and Roxas."

Tidus turned to Yuna, ignoring the debate between Halina and Sora. "You're kidding, right?" he asked Yuna.

At Halina's rant, Sora and the others were gobsmacked. Halina shrugged, and said, "What? I do my research. It is a game after all…"

Yuna said in answer to Tidus, "I'm not joking."

**EIGHT MONTHS LATER**

"We've been in this god damn game for eight months now!" screeched Halina. Halina, Amy, and Yuna were all in Yuna's house, and Yuna was starting to show. Amy was smiling, and then she frowned realizing something, "Isn't Sora meant to be sleeping? And what's happened to 'Chain of Memories'?"

**WITH TIDUS AND OTHERS**

Tidus was out with Sora, and the retarded duck and dog. "So, what gender do you want the baby to be?" Sora (WHAT? How did _he_ get way from the cops?) asked Tidus. "A girl," Tidus answered.

**BACK WITH THE GIRLS**

"Can I ask you something, Amy?" said Halina. "Shoot," replied Amy. "Well, can I be called Linexa?"

"Why?" asked Amy. She never got an answer though. "You girls hungry?" asked Yuna. "Ooo, I am! I am!" said Amy sounding eager. "Hmmm… I'll have anything," said Halina, not really bothered. Yuna got up, and looked in the cupboards. Then she started moaning in pain. "My water's broke!" she choked out, straining her words, and holding her stomach.

"I'll get Tidus!" cried Amy, rushing out the door. She ran as fast as her legs would take her. She found Tidus and the others resting down by a river. "Tidus!" she called out in a sharp, shrill voice. Tidus got up, and came other to her. "What's up?" he asked calmly.

"Yuna's water has broke!"

"_What?_" screeched Sora.

CHAPTER FOUR COMPLETE

Errrrrrr………. Review?


	5. Chapter 5

**Disclaimer: Halina and I don't own anything! Though I think we own ourselves!**

**Chapter Five - AXEL'S HERE!!!! WOOOOOOOO!!!**

Tidus and the others ran into Yuna's house, where Linexa was holding up Yuna, straining under her heavy weight. Tidus ran over to Yuna, and picked her up, bridal style. "Holy Yevon, you're heavy!" he exclaimed, setting Yuna down on the sofa. (Holy crap, we actually had a 'Final Fantasy X' reference! I might die…)

Amy turned to Sora and Linexa. "I think we should go out the house. I'm not prepared to see a baby being born yet. What about you guys?" she said. Sora looked at her. "Well, someone's gotta help her give birth," he said, crossing his arms, and acting like fifteen year old Sora. (The one who is _totally _fit, and so cute- Oh sorry! I was ranting, wasn't I?)

"I'm outta here!" said Linexa, rushing out the door. Amy sighed deeply, and put a hand to her forehead. "Well, I guess it's gotta be me, since you're, well, Sora. And I don't think anyone in their right mind would want a talking duck and dog help them."

"If Donald or Goofy went anywhere near Yuna she would use her guns on them," said Linexa, running out the house. Meanwhile Yuna was screaming and crying. Tidus comforted her. "Don't worry, Yunie-" Yuna cut him off. "You called me Yunie. Only Rikku calls me Yunie."

Sora then looked at Amy. "If she doesn't give birth soon, she's gonna die!" he exclaimed. "It'd be better if another adult woman was here," said Amy. "Wait! What about my mum-" said Sora, but Amy interrupted him. "She's on Destiny Islands, remember?" Tidus then glared at Sora. "Just anyone, and don't take your time about it!" he screamed, tears forming in his eyes. (If only Jecht was here…)

"Anyway, what world are we in?!" cried Amy. "Hollow Bastion," answered Tidus. Linexa popped her head round the door. "Hollow Bastion sounds like swearing," she said. (_Finally! Someone _notices!)

Yuna gripped Tidus's arm, and dug her nails deep into his arm, the pain being excruciating. "Yuna, you're… You're kinda hurting me," said Tidus, but Yuna was oblivious to him.

Amy then spoke up. "Hey, where's the Doctor and that b, sorry I mean Rose?" Everyone shrugged – except for Yuna of course. Suddenly, the Doctor and the b—sorry, _Rose_ appeared. "We have arrived!" exclaimed Rose. The Doctor backed away from her, giving her a puzzled look.

"Can we skip forward forty eight hours now?" asked Amy, crossing her arms.

**48 HOURS LATER**

Yuna held a baby in her arms, and gently rocked the baby. She smiled sweetly down at the baby.

Everyone else did as well. Then the door being banged open sparked their interest.

They looked up, and saw……… Xemnas! (Wait, _what?!_)

"Have you got the others with you?" asked Amy. The others then appeared out of dark portals.

Linexa collasped on the floor. No-one was bothered about her though, not even _Tidus!_

"AXEL!!!!!!!" screamed Amy.

CHAPTER FIVE COMPLETE

Erm… I have a confession: I THINK IS AXEL IS HOT!!!! (no pun intended)


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